I feel like a dandelion. I feel like someone picked me up, took the biggest breath they had and blew out all their air from the very bottom of their belly on a warm, sun-drenched, windy spring day. I feel like a bunch of pieces of me scattered into the breeze... I don't feel like the petals that land softly on the ground. Those are the ones that will take root where they are and re-bud into a new flower. No. I feel like the petals that are swept up in the gust swirling and twirling up and down - maybe landing on something for a split second only to be picked back up again and journey on to somewhere else. I feel like the seed that a young girl chases for a minute but the second she thinks she has it - it gets carried higher on the winds only to be a bit out of her reach. That is how I feel.
It's a transitional period in my life right now. I'm in between publishing deals and don't have any immediate projects booked. Oh, I have writing sessions booked almost daily and bootcamp classes to teach...
Some things have happened lately. Words said, things done, doors closed. It makes me think bigger. It makes me think about LIFE. It makes me think about what I want to leave behind. It makes me wonder if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It makes me think about simplifying and if I could do anything what I'd do. It makes me dream more. It makes me scared, but it makes me excited. It builds my faith and makes me lean on God more.
So, I feel like a dandelion. But maybe I'm not the one that's blowing in the wind... Maybe that is what I long to be... Maybe I'm the one seed still holding on to the stem...wanting to let go desperately but frightened of where the wind may take it.
Go back and read the quote this blog started with.
Maybe I need to not be scared of letting go and trusting where the wind may take me... The winds shift for a reason. I think I have to be okay with not knowing and be okay with continuing my search. I have to know that I'm going to get hurt and lost along the way and that I might tumble around but eventually I'll land where I'm supposed to. Yes, I feel like a dandelion.
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