Love, Me

I like to write.  Some people think I have interesting things to say, and that's nice.  Sometimes some very strange things come out of my brain, but every once in awhile, we all say something worth remembering.  So, I recently decided to start jotting down some of these potentially memorable thoughts of mine. One day I hope to make a coffee table book out of all of these thoughts/quotes and of some of my favorite quotes.  Or if it were merely a book sold in gas stations and Wallgreens - even if it was toilet reading - I'd be cool with that too.

For the past few years, I've been posting a positive quote up every day on Facebook.  It's one of my favorite things about the day.  I get up, wander sleepy-eyed into the kitchen to make coffee, crawl back in my bed with my cup o' joe and my doggie, and then open my computer and search to find a quote that feels just right for the day.  It's a big commitment...and it has to be perfect.  It's going to be up there all day and there are thousands of people that might read it. Over the years - I've gotten some of the most amazing responses and reactions to the posts. Some bring me to tears, some I laugh at, and some I have no clue what the person is saying.  Either way, it warms my heart that people are out there reading them.  I thought I'd share a few of my own as of late.  So......... here are a few of my brain babies.  I hope you enjoy them.  

I want to go to bed every night feeling tired.  I want to know that I squeezed every ounce of life and living out of this day.  I want to lay my head down knowing that I positively affected someone’s life today.  I want my eyes to close knowing that I can sleep easy because I’m doing the best I can and because for every minute I’m awake I’m dreaming even more than when I sleep.  Love, Me

In every single experience and circumstance there is beauty.  If you can remember this you can find peace in so many situations.  Even in the worst situations - in death, in sickness, in heartache - there is beauty and goodness.  Seek it - it’s there, and when you find it, you’ll know and you’ll smile.  Love, Me

The arts are the hardest fields to succeed in.  They are based on relativity, opinions and creativity.  All of which can’t be caged and can’t be put into a business model.  If you go into the arts - keep this in mind and hold fast to bettering your craft instead of making money.  It is when you perfect your originality of the craft that you will find happiness.  Love, Me

Driving forward and never looking back is an important lesson in life.   Your past shapes you, but you aren’t defined by it.  Your goals are ahead of you so don’t keep looking in the rearview for too long - you’re bound to crash even if you’re on the right road.  Love, Me

My Dad once said 2 things I won’t ever forget: 1. In your lifetime, you’ll be able to count on one hand the number of people that you can truly trust.  2. You know you love someone when their needs become more important than your own.  Love, Me (and Dad)

Hear My Heart

I just got back into Nashville from spending a few days with girlfriends in Florida... Lounging by the beach, eating seafood, laughing... I certainly can't complain.  I tried not to feel guilty for taking a few days off.  I can't really remember a time when I took a few days off that didn't have something to do with music, writing or fitness...  I'm thinking........  still thinking.......  nope, I can't remember.

Driving into town today brought back a very specific memory.  I won't ever forget the time I drove into Nashville from a trip with my best friend (yes we wrote on the trip :) - and literally hit the city limits and was overwhelmed with anxiety and stress - I almost felt sick. Today I didn't feel that...  Although sometimes I feel like a circus act trying to balance teaching bootcamp classes with writing songs, producing, singing out and training on my own - I can't complain because I have a deep love for each of these things.  I'm trying to realize my blessings.

Still I am constantly searching for balance and my purpose.  Does my purpose encompass all of these things?  Is it merely writing songs?  WHY am I here?  What kind of impact will I leave behind?  Will these songs and these words be enough?  I get caught up in asking these questions, and as I was going through songs tonight I ran across one that I wrote with a dear friend Shane Hines called "That's How God Works."  I plugged it up to my speakers and listened as Shane's awesome voice poured through the room singing the words and music that came from our hearts on the day that we wrote it.  And it was enough.  That one song - those simple words and melody were enough for me to say - it's all worth it.  The toil, the sweat, the heartache, the struggle, the conflict... all worth it because of one song.  Because I listen and I hear Shane's story and my story - all of our stories - and I know there's a purpose.  I just have to have faith.

This life and what I do may never make complete sense.  In a weird way - I kind of hope it never does because that leaves some mystery and room for growth.  Here is the song that we wrote called That's How God Works I hope you can hear my heart in this song, and Shane's.  Maybe you'll even hear yours.

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That’s How God Works

Megan Conner/Shane Hines

2.27.12

I put my faith in this old guitar

In the words I write from a tangled heart

Chasing paper dreams and lipstick smiles

Sure I’ve had some peace of mind

Days I couldn’t feel much higher

Couldn’t find one damn cloud in that ocean sky

But honestly most days

I just sit around and wait 

For the blanket of the night to fall

When it’s just me and the alcohol

I know I’ve made some big mistakes

Things I can’t change, I can’t shake

But somehow I always end up okay

Cuz it’s about more than me 

And when I fall down to my knees

I feel His arms wrap around the hurt

I guess that’s how God works

Growing up I was told

I’d never amount to much but now I know

That all those words made me who I am

I bet mama’s looking down

Wonder what she thinks about me now

A man full of faults doing the he best can

I know I’ve made some big mistakes

Things I can’t change, I can’t shake

But somehow I always end up okay

Sometimes when I’m alone at night

I swear she whispers it’s alright

I feel her arms wrap around the hurt

I guess that’s how God works

I’ve done a lot of wrong

But there’s one thing that I’ve done right

And looking into my son’s honey brown eyes

I know I’ve made some big mistakes

Things I can’t change, I can’t shake

But somehow I always end up okay

Cuz it’s about more than me

So much more than me

His little smile wraps around the hurt

I guess that’s how God works

An LA AM

I woke up this morning in Los Angeles and walked down the street to get coffee. It is crisp outside, cool enough to wear a sweatshirt, but you can tell it's going to be a beautiful, warm day. I woke up at 5:20 this morning.  It's only a 2 hour time difference, but I have such a hard time adjusting!  I don't mind though because I love the mornings.

Walking back from the coffee shop, I took a moment to breathe in the air and look around and I took this...

LA is known for it's smog and fakeness, but I have to say - I haven't experienced either.  Ok, well, maybe there's a little smog...but you can't see it unless you're far away looking at the city.  But I have to say I have met some of the nicest and most genuine people EVER in this city, and everyone I meet, and I mean just about EVERYONE asks... "Are you moving to LA?!?!!"  Hmmm....  :)  But what I found to be interesting this morning was that as the buses were passing and the street lights were changing and people were opening the stores up... I stopped long enough to see this and to feel the beauty of what was in front of me.  It's everywhere.  Amazing.

I'm here writing for a week.  I've already had some wonderful experiences and songs and I'm not even half way through the trip!  Again, I step back and look at my life and just smile.  I met with a friend from back in my NYC days yesterday - she's a full time actress and food blogger - Lynn Chen.  Check out her blog at The Actor's Diet.  We both were glowing with happiness, catching up on the years that have flown by at the speed of light...  There have been hard times for both of us, and I mean hard times... but it was so refreshing to see her smile, hear how she has prevailed, has grown, has accepted her life as it is now and how she is making the very best of every day given to her.  She is an inspiration.  

We spoke about the peaks and valleys of being in the arts... of how to savor every moment of the good times because you know that there's going to be a not so good time right around the corner.  A lot of people in the arts going through one of the valleys tend to just keep sliding down deeper into the valley...  That's why there are so many people with problems in our biz.  We are creative, emotional, ADD, flighty and sensitive (to name a few), and when our craft isn't being appreciated it's hard on our hearts.  So, you have to find something more - something to hold on to when you're in a valley.  You have to find hope and inspiration and goodness even when there is no light... 

I just wanted to share these thoughts and give some encouragement on this beautiful LA am.  So, friends and fellow creators, dream chasers and life-livers out there - keep the light, savor the goodness and find the beauty right where you are.  

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Me and Lynn Chen :)

Roller-coasters

I'm not a big roller-coaster person.  I once threw up on a Scooby-Doo roller-coaster at Busch Gardens and that pretty much scarred me for life.  But I have to say - I do love looking at the pictures that they snap as you're going down the scariest part - you know the ones where everyone's face is blowing in the wind and there's sheer terror painted on each person's facial features...some of those are truly timeless.  Since I'm not keen on thrill rides, I find it funny that I'm in the music business because this job is one helluva roller-coaster ride!

A couple weeks ago - I was literally laying on my couch watching back to back episodes of Law and Order SVU and drowning myself in a bag of white chocolate chips one weekend to the next week rescuing a dog and returning it to it's owner outside of my new fav cowriter Andy Hunt's house to us drinking coffee, writing a pop song, laughing and eating chocolate bars together while taking pics of the moment and sending silly tweets out.  It's so much better to consume chocolate together than alone...

It can change on a dime...  Speaking of that phrase - what the heck does it mean to change on a dime?!? Whaaaat?  How does a dime change?  I must do some investigating...  Back to straight talk -the ups and downs of this biz is what makes it so tough.  Some choose to work relentlessly, some choose to drink and some choose to just walk away... we all have our ways of dealing with it.  The highs are so high and the lows can be oh so low.  Here's my opinion on what makes this business so crazy...  Normally, you have a job and you go to work and then go home and leave it behind.  You eat dinner with the fam and talk about your day and maybe watch some TV only to think about what time you have to get up tomorrow for work or the lunch meeting that you have with your boss the next day...   I heard a quote once and I think I tweaked it a bit in my own words, but it's says so much - "It's not what you do what makes who you are but what you do with what you do that does."  So, what happens when what you do IS who you are?!?!  Herein lies the craziness...  when we create a song it IS a piece of us - it comes from inside of us - our heart, our experiences or merely just a crock of crikey that we make up, but it still come from WITHIN us.  So, what we do IS who we are.

9.999 times out of 10 in this biz, you'll get rejected or no feedback at all and when who you are gets lets down over and over again - how do you deal?  How do you make it when you put yourself out there song by song and day after day and it's either not noticed or completely rejected?  That's hard on the heart.  But - I've found that this business is just like life...

When it comes down to it, we MUST, I repeat MUST find joy in the smallest of small of things.  We cannot be defined by what we do or what others think of us.  We've got to be happy with the process, the journey and not the end result.  We've got to have faith.  We need to fill the void with healthy things that make us better, and we have to know in our hearts that our dreams ARE important and the chance to follow and explore those dreams is what life is all about no matter what happens.  In the end, we are going to remember the experiences that we had and the relationships that we made - not the money or fame or success.  So, until then - it's all about enjoying the ride - even if if it's full of bumps, twists, upside down loopty-loops and terrifying plunges - it is still beautiful.

I'm Addicted to Netflix

I'm not proud to say it, but I might have a Netflix addiction.  Okay, I DO have a Netflix addiction.  Cocaine is to Kurt Kobain as Netflix is to me.  Right now my drug of choice is Law and Order SVU - didn't see that one comin' now did ya?!  :)  Oh, don't worry - I've been through Dexter, Madmen, How I Met Your Mother... (among others)  but these days Detective Stabler, Detective Benson and I are pretty much BFFs. They fight crime on the streets, me from my big red couch.

I might as well go ahead and get it out in the open as well... I might also be addicted to adult gummy vitamins and peanut butter.  There, I said it. I feel better.  Actually, to be even more specific with my addiction - I'll go so far as to tell you the BRAND of PB that I can literally drink... It's called "Better'n Peanut Butter" from Trader Joe's - and let me tell you - it IS better'n peanut butter!!!!!!  If this can of PB was a man - we would be happily married with 3 kids and 2 dogs by now.  We might even have a stereotypical white picket fence.

All of the above is true.  I seriously laid on my couch and watched - oh, I don't think I'm ready to come clean with just how many episodes...... but we'll just say "quite a few" all weekend long.  Now, I did happen to take 2 hot yoga classes - 2.5 hours of steaming hot, sweaty yoga, which required 3 changes of clothes, and then I was so tired and dehydrated on Saturday I could do nothing but watch the detectives fight the bad guys.  So, there's my excuse for Saturday...but Sunday?  No excuse.

I kind of had a wakeup call Monday because I felt like a lost a couple days of my life.  Now, there's certainly nothing wrong with being a vegetable for a weekend, but I found myself to be a bit lonely, missing something, questioning what I'm doing and where I'm at.  Of course, I had my mushy monkey dog to keep me company.  For those of you who don't know her...allow me introduce my lovely little Zoe...

I mean, c'mon!!  Look at that face - life isn't THAT bad!  

But as I was talking to a co-writer today - we were speaking about the music business.  I used to be in fitness full-time where my focus was on everyone else all day long.  I would go in and give 100% and expect nothing less than that back from my students.  Everything from the routines I would make up to the music I chose was for THEM.  And when I moved to Nashville and started in music - I realized this biz is about one person - it becomes all about YOU. You pretty much have to to survive. It becomes about what you look like, sound like, act like, what others think about you, what you wear, what you say, how you're perceived, what you hear around town, your reputation, your past, your future...  And, I have to say - music doesn't give back as much as we as writers and artists give to it.  As hard as it, it has taught me more about myself - the good, bad and the VERY ugly - than anything else in my life.  

It forces you to find who you are and what you're made of and the things you turn to when you have nothing else - Netflix, anyone?  :)  I have wanted to get in my car and drive as far as I could away from Nashville more times that I can think of, but then I have moments where I have gotten teared up in a writing session, covered in chills because of what is being created.  It's amazing.  

More than anything - I'm learning to savor those moments. Because THAT is what life is about.  Cheesy, but true. The moments when something is coming from inside you and seeing it come alive, the moments when you catch someone smiling while you're singing one of your songs, the moments when someone says thank you, the moment when you KNOW you've made a difference... I'm getting jazzed just writing this!  It's easy to say, but I think going through loneliness and tough times really makes you realize what is truly important.  

We can't find happiness in what we do - only in who we are and what we give to others. Go ahead and feel free to quote me on that! Ha! Life is tough - as I get older it gets easier and harder at the same time, but I continually seek happiness - it's what we all want.  So, I try to focus on those amazing moments day in and day out, but seriously - I still find a little happiness (ok, maybe a lot) in my Netflix, gummyvites and peanut butter.

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Oh, and since I was talking about cocaine earlier - I'll leave you with one more picture.  Here's one of Zoe.  Most people ask if she's been snorting coke, but don't worry, folks, it's just sand.

The Wild Hogs Stole My Title

So, I thought I was brilliant.  I thought about starting a blog about the ins and outs, behind the scenes and what goes on in the trenches of the deep, dark........wait for it...........  music business.  And the phrase - The Road to Somewhere kept creeping into my mind, because I was like - I'm going somewhere, right?  Someone tell me I'm on the road to SOMEWHERE!!!!??!?!  So, as any good blogger/writer/entrepreneur would do - I looked up -www.theroadtosomewhere.com  and come to find out it's the official blog of the The Wild Hogs. I'm not talking about the animal or the silly movie - these guys are FO REAL. For those of you who don't know who they are - they are a biking group - a motorcycle riding group is a bit clearer.  They call themselves "just a group of schmucks who like to ride."  Love it.  I have to say - their blog is pretty bad ass.  Maybe I should just go get a Harley and join them, then we can all live as a happy family on the Road to Somewhere.  


I thought about starting a twitter account as "Not the real Megan Conner" and tweeting crazy things about the business and celebrities anonymously, but 2 things wrong with that - numero uno - no one knows who Megan Conner is, and dos - it's already been done.  Next...


What do I have to say?  What do I have to share that will impart knowledge and inspiration?


I remember singing to Whitney Houston, Vanessa Williams and particularly Mariah Carey's "Vision of Love" at the top of my lungs in my room when I was young.  (It was NOT pretty.)  At that age and even as I got older, I enjoyed all types of music and never gave a thought to where the music came from - I just assumed Mariah came up with all of that brilliant junk about love and heartbreaks.  Well, come to find out - a lot of people still think that the artist is the one coming up with the songs, and so many people out there don't know what really goes on behind the scenes in the music biz.  From the process of a song being written to how it ends up on the radio...is truly insane.  This business is the craziest, most wonderful and hateful thing I've ever been a part of and it drives people nuts, rips their hearts out, takes lives, makes them fall in love, gets them high and then comes from behind like a shadow and steals all of the light away.  It's drama at it's finest.  (Makes for a good blog, huh?)


I've been meaning to do this a long time.  So, world - here I am... In the middle of Nashville, Tennessee, stuck smack dab in the music business, struggling, loving and hating what I do, always seeking inspiration, looking for the next idea, excited and scared to death of the future...and on the road to somewhere...I think.  :)