Roller-coasters

I'm not a big roller-coaster person.  I once threw up on a Scooby-Doo roller-coaster at Busch Gardens and that pretty much scarred me for life.  But I have to say - I do love looking at the pictures that they snap as you're going down the scariest part - you know the ones where everyone's face is blowing in the wind and there's sheer terror painted on each person's facial features...some of those are truly timeless.  Since I'm not keen on thrill rides, I find it funny that I'm in the music business because this job is one helluva roller-coaster ride!

A couple weeks ago - I was literally laying on my couch watching back to back episodes of Law and Order SVU and drowning myself in a bag of white chocolate chips one weekend to the next week rescuing a dog and returning it to it's owner outside of my new fav cowriter Andy Hunt's house to us drinking coffee, writing a pop song, laughing and eating chocolate bars together while taking pics of the moment and sending silly tweets out.  It's so much better to consume chocolate together than alone...

It can change on a dime...  Speaking of that phrase - what the heck does it mean to change on a dime?!? Whaaaat?  How does a dime change?  I must do some investigating...  Back to straight talk -the ups and downs of this biz is what makes it so tough.  Some choose to work relentlessly, some choose to drink and some choose to just walk away... we all have our ways of dealing with it.  The highs are so high and the lows can be oh so low.  Here's my opinion on what makes this business so crazy...  Normally, you have a job and you go to work and then go home and leave it behind.  You eat dinner with the fam and talk about your day and maybe watch some TV only to think about what time you have to get up tomorrow for work or the lunch meeting that you have with your boss the next day...   I heard a quote once and I think I tweaked it a bit in my own words, but it's says so much - "It's not what you do what makes who you are but what you do with what you do that does."  So, what happens when what you do IS who you are?!?!  Herein lies the craziness...  when we create a song it IS a piece of us - it comes from inside of us - our heart, our experiences or merely just a crock of crikey that we make up, but it still come from WITHIN us.  So, what we do IS who we are.

9.999 times out of 10 in this biz, you'll get rejected or no feedback at all and when who you are gets lets down over and over again - how do you deal?  How do you make it when you put yourself out there song by song and day after day and it's either not noticed or completely rejected?  That's hard on the heart.  But - I've found that this business is just like life...

When it comes down to it, we MUST, I repeat MUST find joy in the smallest of small of things.  We cannot be defined by what we do or what others think of us.  We've got to be happy with the process, the journey and not the end result.  We've got to have faith.  We need to fill the void with healthy things that make us better, and we have to know in our hearts that our dreams ARE important and the chance to follow and explore those dreams is what life is all about no matter what happens.  In the end, we are going to remember the experiences that we had and the relationships that we made - not the money or fame or success.  So, until then - it's all about enjoying the ride - even if if it's full of bumps, twists, upside down loopty-loops and terrifying plunges - it is still beautiful.

I'm Addicted to Netflix

I'm not proud to say it, but I might have a Netflix addiction.  Okay, I DO have a Netflix addiction.  Cocaine is to Kurt Kobain as Netflix is to me.  Right now my drug of choice is Law and Order SVU - didn't see that one comin' now did ya?!  :)  Oh, don't worry - I've been through Dexter, Madmen, How I Met Your Mother... (among others)  but these days Detective Stabler, Detective Benson and I are pretty much BFFs. They fight crime on the streets, me from my big red couch.

I might as well go ahead and get it out in the open as well... I might also be addicted to adult gummy vitamins and peanut butter.  There, I said it. I feel better.  Actually, to be even more specific with my addiction - I'll go so far as to tell you the BRAND of PB that I can literally drink... It's called "Better'n Peanut Butter" from Trader Joe's - and let me tell you - it IS better'n peanut butter!!!!!!  If this can of PB was a man - we would be happily married with 3 kids and 2 dogs by now.  We might even have a stereotypical white picket fence.

All of the above is true.  I seriously laid on my couch and watched - oh, I don't think I'm ready to come clean with just how many episodes...... but we'll just say "quite a few" all weekend long.  Now, I did happen to take 2 hot yoga classes - 2.5 hours of steaming hot, sweaty yoga, which required 3 changes of clothes, and then I was so tired and dehydrated on Saturday I could do nothing but watch the detectives fight the bad guys.  So, there's my excuse for Saturday...but Sunday?  No excuse.

I kind of had a wakeup call Monday because I felt like a lost a couple days of my life.  Now, there's certainly nothing wrong with being a vegetable for a weekend, but I found myself to be a bit lonely, missing something, questioning what I'm doing and where I'm at.  Of course, I had my mushy monkey dog to keep me company.  For those of you who don't know her...allow me introduce my lovely little Zoe...

I mean, c'mon!!  Look at that face - life isn't THAT bad!  

But as I was talking to a co-writer today - we were speaking about the music business.  I used to be in fitness full-time where my focus was on everyone else all day long.  I would go in and give 100% and expect nothing less than that back from my students.  Everything from the routines I would make up to the music I chose was for THEM.  And when I moved to Nashville and started in music - I realized this biz is about one person - it becomes all about YOU. You pretty much have to to survive. It becomes about what you look like, sound like, act like, what others think about you, what you wear, what you say, how you're perceived, what you hear around town, your reputation, your past, your future...  And, I have to say - music doesn't give back as much as we as writers and artists give to it.  As hard as it, it has taught me more about myself - the good, bad and the VERY ugly - than anything else in my life.  

It forces you to find who you are and what you're made of and the things you turn to when you have nothing else - Netflix, anyone?  :)  I have wanted to get in my car and drive as far as I could away from Nashville more times that I can think of, but then I have moments where I have gotten teared up in a writing session, covered in chills because of what is being created.  It's amazing.  

More than anything - I'm learning to savor those moments. Because THAT is what life is about.  Cheesy, but true. The moments when something is coming from inside you and seeing it come alive, the moments when you catch someone smiling while you're singing one of your songs, the moments when someone says thank you, the moment when you KNOW you've made a difference... I'm getting jazzed just writing this!  It's easy to say, but I think going through loneliness and tough times really makes you realize what is truly important.  

We can't find happiness in what we do - only in who we are and what we give to others. Go ahead and feel free to quote me on that! Ha! Life is tough - as I get older it gets easier and harder at the same time, but I continually seek happiness - it's what we all want.  So, I try to focus on those amazing moments day in and day out, but seriously - I still find a little happiness (ok, maybe a lot) in my Netflix, gummyvites and peanut butter.

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Oh, and since I was talking about cocaine earlier - I'll leave you with one more picture.  Here's one of Zoe.  Most people ask if she's been snorting coke, but don't worry, folks, it's just sand.

The Wild Hogs Stole My Title

So, I thought I was brilliant.  I thought about starting a blog about the ins and outs, behind the scenes and what goes on in the trenches of the deep, dark........wait for it...........  music business.  And the phrase - The Road to Somewhere kept creeping into my mind, because I was like - I'm going somewhere, right?  Someone tell me I'm on the road to SOMEWHERE!!!!??!?!  So, as any good blogger/writer/entrepreneur would do - I looked up -www.theroadtosomewhere.com  and come to find out it's the official blog of the The Wild Hogs. I'm not talking about the animal or the silly movie - these guys are FO REAL. For those of you who don't know who they are - they are a biking group - a motorcycle riding group is a bit clearer.  They call themselves "just a group of schmucks who like to ride."  Love it.  I have to say - their blog is pretty bad ass.  Maybe I should just go get a Harley and join them, then we can all live as a happy family on the Road to Somewhere.  


I thought about starting a twitter account as "Not the real Megan Conner" and tweeting crazy things about the business and celebrities anonymously, but 2 things wrong with that - numero uno - no one knows who Megan Conner is, and dos - it's already been done.  Next...


What do I have to say?  What do I have to share that will impart knowledge and inspiration?


I remember singing to Whitney Houston, Vanessa Williams and particularly Mariah Carey's "Vision of Love" at the top of my lungs in my room when I was young.  (It was NOT pretty.)  At that age and even as I got older, I enjoyed all types of music and never gave a thought to where the music came from - I just assumed Mariah came up with all of that brilliant junk about love and heartbreaks.  Well, come to find out - a lot of people still think that the artist is the one coming up with the songs, and so many people out there don't know what really goes on behind the scenes in the music biz.  From the process of a song being written to how it ends up on the radio...is truly insane.  This business is the craziest, most wonderful and hateful thing I've ever been a part of and it drives people nuts, rips their hearts out, takes lives, makes them fall in love, gets them high and then comes from behind like a shadow and steals all of the light away.  It's drama at it's finest.  (Makes for a good blog, huh?)


I've been meaning to do this a long time.  So, world - here I am... In the middle of Nashville, Tennessee, stuck smack dab in the music business, struggling, loving and hating what I do, always seeking inspiration, looking for the next idea, excited and scared to death of the future...and on the road to somewhere...I think.  :)